Suicidal thoughts can be really scary, and not just for the person having them. If you or a loved one are experiencing suicidal thoughts, it’s important to know that the feelings are temporary. It might feel like the overwhelming emotion will never go away, but these thoughts and emotions will not be with you forever. It’s also important to know that there are things you can do to cope and feel better. In addition to developing a toolbox of coping strategies, learning more about warning signs, triggers, and supports can be extremely helpful in managing and reducing suicidal thoughts.
What Causes Suicidal Thoughts?
Suicidal thoughts can be brought on by life stressors, relationship problems, major loss or trauma, and other environmental factors. Suicidal thoughts can also be the result of something biochemical. A medication change or a mental health concern such as depression or anxiety, can trigger suicidal thoughts.
The thing is, if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, it means you are dealing with more than you can handle. And although it might seem like these overwhelming feelings will never go away, it is important to know that they are temporary.
Know that there are other solutions besides suicide that can alleviate your pain.
Know that there are other solutions besides suicide that can alleviate your pain.
Suicidal Thoughts Do Not Always Mean You Want to Die
In my work with families, I supported many clients who faced regular suicidal ideation. It was our job to help them stay safe. We employed several strategies, depending on the needs of the client and family.
In many cases, the child or adolescent simply could not handle their emotional experience and they felt they were out of options. During follow-up conversations about their struggles, they would often determine that they did not actually want to end their life. It was more that they were just tired of feeling so awful.
This is an important distinction. It indicates that although suicidal thoughts and gestures are intended to put a stop to the pain, deep down the person may want to keep living.
How to Cope with Suicidal Thoughts
If you or a loved one have been struggling with suicidal thoughts, know that you are not alone. Many people experience suicidal thoughts. The key to coping is awareness. A solid safety plan can help you take steps to prevent suicidal thoughts, as well as intervene at the first sign of trouble.
Below are some suggested coping strategies to incorporate into your safety plan. Please keep in mind that these are guidelines. They are no match for the active support of a trained mental health professional.
1. Identify People to Ask for Help
Identify safe, trusted people in your life with whom you can reach out to and share what you are going through. Keeping your thoughts to yourself can be isolating and put you at greater risk. Letting someone in on your experience not only helps you process your thoughts, but widens your safety net of supports.
2. Know the Warning Signs
There are several ways to tell whether someone is feeling suicidal. If you are feeling suicidal, or if you are concerned about a loved one, watch for these warning signs:
- Regularly expressing suicidal thoughts or a passive death wish. Statements like ‘I wish I didn’t have to deal with this life’ or ‘I just want to die’ are examples of a passive death wish. While there may not be a specific plan, a passive death wish is still cause for concern.
- Hyper-focus on death and dying.
- No longer interested in once-loved activities.
- Giving away possessions.
- Environmental stressors like relationship problems, financial difficulty, problems with the law, or other cause to feel trapped or hopeless.
- Increased self-harm, high-risk behaviors, or substance use.
- Sudden or gradual isolation or withdrawal from social events.
- Overwhelming or traumatic experiences like the death of loved one, job loss, or divorce.
- The death of a loved one by suicide.
- Sudden presentation of joy/peace after a long period of depression. This is a tricky one because this shift can be a sign of improvement if someone is getting therapeutic support. However, it can also be a sign they have finally resolved to end their life and they are exhibiting signs of relief.
3. Figure Out Your Triggers
What are the typical things that trigger your suicidal thoughts? Awareness is key in managing those thoughts and you are the first line of defense. If a bad day at work is a trigger, have a helpful activity lined up for when you get home so this trigger won’t devolve into something worse.
Make note of your triggers, list them out, and share them with trusted supports. Your supports can also keep an eye out for triggers and warning signs, and check in as needed.
For example, if you know that the holiday season is a trigger, share this with the trusted individuals in your life so they can help you navigate that specific trigger.
4. Make a List of Internal Coping Strategies
Internal coping strategies are things you can do on your own. This list should include self-soothing activities that interest you and have worked in the past.
For example, one of my former clients used a working list of her favorite solo activities. She considered it her self-care plan and would engage in at least one activity per day for prevention and mental health maintenance. Then, if she started to feel depressed, she would do multiple activities from her list, picking those that resonated the most in the moment. Her coping strategies list included things like drawing, listening to music, doing push-ups, watching stand-up comedy, writing a letter to her parents, doing yoga, and deep cleaning a room of her house.
5. Identify Social Supports
These are people that you turn to at the first sign of trouble. Maybe you are just starting to experience suicidal thoughts and you know that you need to do something about it. Reaching out to these social supports can provide a helpful and much needed distraction that can reboot your mental state.
These supports may be different than the people you rely on when you are in need of more serious intervention. Social supports are intended to help you shift your thinking and reset your mind and body. Sometimes, a quality hangout with a loved one can be just what you need to refill your internal well and help you cope.
6. Seek Professional Support
No matter how often suicidal thoughts pervade your daily life, it’s always a good idea to seek professional help. Regular therapeutic support can be a lifeline when things get rough. Therapy is also an excellent strategy toward prevention. Not only that, but a therapist can help you develop an effective safety plan filled with coping strategies and supports tailored to your needs, including those mentioned above.
Helpful Lifestyle Changes for Coping with Suicidal Thoughts
If you suffer from suicidal thoughts or you have a history of suicidal gestures or attempts, there are things you can do to increase your chances of maintaining good mental health.
Avoiding mind-altering substances like drugs and alcohol can be a huge help in remaining stable. These substances impair your judgment, lower inhibitions, and can make depression worse. If you have thought about taking your own life, the introduction of mind-altering chemicals will increase the likelihood that you might act on those thoughts. This increased risk may lead you to make decisions that, under normal circumstances, you would not make. You might not actually want to end your life, but during an impaired state, that line of thinking can get distorted.
It’s also important to avoid activities that might induce additional emotional pain. Things like gambling, casual sexual encounters, and social isolation all have the propensity to increase the risk of suicide.
When Do Suicidal Thoughts Become a Crisis?
If you are feeling unsafe and you have a clear plan to take your life, you should seek an emergency evaluation at the closest psychiatric hospital. However, there are instances where a few additional supports are enough and may not require hospitalization.
If you have formal or informal supports to help keep you safe, this greatly reduces the need for inpatient intervention. For example, a teenager who is experiencing a passive death wish may not require hospitalization if she schedules an emergency appointment with her therapist. Additionally, if her parents are able to lock up all the sharp objects and medication in the home and conduct hourly checks on her throughout the night, it is possible to avoid hospitalization. It’s important to note that this type of intervention should only be done with professional guidance.
Moreover, if you have a safety plan and are under the care of a therapist and/or psychiatrist, it’s important to follow the steps on your plan. Doing so can help alleviate suicidal thoughts before the need for inpatient care. But, if those steps don’t work, then it’s time for more formal intervention.
When to Call for Help
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts and you are seriously considering taking your own life, you should call for help immediately. You can reach out for phone support like the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 800-273-8255, or simply call 911.
Whether your thoughts are passive or severe, reaching out for support is always a good idea. But if you find yourself close to the edge, definitely call for help.
If you have a friend or loved one who is experiencing suicidal thoughts and you are worried about their safety, it’s always okay to call for support. There are ways to tell just how serious the risk of suicide may be. You can watch for things like whether they have a specific plan or access to a means to take their life. However, it’s always best to pull in a professional who is specifically trained to conduct a thorough safety risk assessment.
Treatment Options for Suicidal Thoughts
If you have tried to manage chronic suicidal thoughts on your own and they simply won’t stop, professional support can help. You can start by scheduling a psychiatric/psychological evaluation with a respected psychiatrist or psychologist in your area.
When it comes to chronic suicidality, there are treatment options that have proven effective. Your psychiatrist or psychologist will make recommendations and set you up with additional therapeutic services, and possibly medication.
The good news is that many people who suffer from suicidal thoughts have found therapy and medication to be highly beneficial. With the help of some lifestyle changes, a solid safety plan, and a good support team around you, you can move beyond fighting for your life, and start thriving again.
Resources for Coping with Suicidal Thoughts
If you or a loved one are feeling suicidal, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 800-273-8255
You can also connect with any of the resources and supports below:
- CrisisTextLine.org – If you are going through a tough time and experiencing a mental health crisis, contact the Crisis Text Line. Just Text HOME to 741741 to get help right away. A live, trained Crisis Counselor receives the text and responds, all through their secure online platform. The Crisis Counselor will help you move from a hot moment to a cool one.
- SAMHSA’s National Helpline – Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit the site. The helpline offers free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
- Goodtherapy.org – Goodtherapy.org is an amazing resource where you can find anything you want to know about mental health topics and therapeutic treatments. They also have a massive directory of therapists to help you find the right mental health professional for your family.
- TrevorLifeline: The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning youth. Their hotline, chat, and text support are available 24/7 to those struggling with suicidal thoughts. Call 1.866.488.7386 for TrevorLifeline, visit https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now/ for TrevorChat, and text START to 678-678 for TrevorText.
- Trans Lifeline: Trans Lifeline is a trans-led organization that connects trans people to the community, support, and resources they need to survive and thrive. Trans Lifeline’s Hotline is a peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers. Their operators are located all over the U.S. and Canada, and are all trans-identified. If you are in crisis or just need someone to talk to, even if it’s just about whether or not you’re trans, they are ready to support you and provide you with resources. Call 1.877.565.8860 for help today.
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