If you have experienced a miscarriage, then you know firsthand how painful, and seemingly unending, that kind of grief can be. Miscarriage can leave you feeling empty, lost, and alone – like you will never recover. But there are healing rituals that can help you move through your grief. One special and sacred way to deal with your pain is through the creation and ’embodiment’ of a miscarriage tattoo. And this collection of miscarriage tattoos was created to help you decide how you want to honor your loss.
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Miscarriage Tattoos and Grief
For many parents, the emotional pain that comes with miscarriage is indescribable.
When I had my first miscarriage, I was torn apart. It was my first pregnancy ever, and one that I had longed for. From a young age, I knew I wanted to be a mother. So when we got pregnant on our first try, I was ecstatic. Little did I know that not only would I suffer a missed miscarriage at 15 weeks, but that the experience would shape me as a mother for years to come.
Grief is Weird
After so many weeks of happy dreaming and hoping and planning, I fell pretty hard when our baby’s death was confirmed. My grief was a twisted, roundabout thing. At first, there was intense pain and paralysis. Then came an overflow of tears and catharsis.
But then, about a week or two later, I was fine. Like, weirdly fine.
When a coworker remarked how strong I was, it hit me that I probably compartmentalized my grief without intending to.
Try as I might, I couldn’t access the pain. At that point, I started to worry a little. As a licensed counselor and family-based therapist with years of experience in the mental health field, I knew all too well the weird ways that grief could manifest.
I was concerned, but I was also convinced there wasn’t much I could do. I decided there was probably a good reason my mind, body, and heart had shut down the grieving process.
About two months after our baby died, I started to feel miserable. Not sad, but super irritable and angry. I was annoyed with everything. Couldn’t stand going to work. I started to lose my cool more frequently, snapping at coworkers and even my boss. Everything about my job felt awful and I even considered resigning. Home life was no refuge and I was constantly getting into arguments with my husband.
Miscarriage Grief in Disguise
I soon came to the realization that it wasn’t my boss, it wasn’t my commute, it wasn’t my job, and it certainly wasn’t my husband. None of those things had changed. My husband was still amazing (though he was dealing with his own grief, too), I was still doing the work I enjoyed, and my boss was still great.
What had changed was me.
My grief had come on strong and felt “normal” at first. But then, as if someone had turned off a faucet, it had stopped. And in the same way the water just sits in the pipes, my grief sat, waiting. Over time, the pressure built up and overflowed back inside me. And without any tears to carry it out, my grief found another way.
Anger.
Once I realized that my anger and irritation with everything and everyone was grief in disguise, I knew I had to do something about it.
Using a Journal to Help You Grieve
At this point, getting a miscarriage tattoo was only an idea. I was determined to get one, but taking the steps to actually do it seemed daunting.
The first time I tried to sketch the tattoo, I failed miserably. I couldn’t quite depict what was in my head. I felt stuck, uninspired, and honestly, being creative was the last thing I felt like doing. It seemed like I needed to take a step back.
I realized that the only way to make space for creativity was to process through my grief a bit more.
So I started a journal.
Journaling about my experience was extremely healing. My journal provided me with a sacred vessel into which I could pour out my heart. It took the edge off the pain and felt like a tool for survival.
If you haven’t already, I definitely encourage you to use a journal to process your own experience. You can get a free copy of the Pregnancy Loss Mini Journal that I created just for Centered Parent readers by subscribing below.
Other Healing Rituals
I would like to share a few more things that helped with my grief and carried me along my healing journey.
1. Using Baby Loss Care Products
The first is the Healing Hearts Baby Loss products from Earth Mama Organics. Their Seeds of Hope and Aromatherapy Candle not only brought me comfort from the simple knowledge that I’m not alone, but it also gave me a framework for a healing ritual. The candle and seeds all helped to guide me through my pain and make meaning from my experience. I highly recommend these products, whether as a gift or for yourself. Get it here from Earth Mama Organics.
2. Joining a Support Group
I am honored to invite you to join my support group on Facebook.
As an art therapist, certified grief pro, and woman with lived pregnancy loss experience, I look forward to supporting you along your grief journey. Click below to join our safe and supportive community.
3. Starting Therapy
The other thing that truly fostered healing in me was seeing my therapist. It may seem like a no-brainer, but therapy isn’t exactly an easy sell. It’s hard work. But oh so worth it. And sometimes therapists are their own worst enemies when it comes to taking care of themselves. I had to find a way to allow myself to seek extra support to deal with my pain.
Leaning on my own family and friends to grieve didn’t capture the full picture of what I needed. What my mind, body, and heart were crying out for was a space to pour out all of the intense feelings that I couldn’t make sense of. My therapist offered me that space and helped me sort through everything I poured out.
There is no friend or family member that can replicate the space that a trusted and trained mental health professional can. And as a therapist, I can definitely say that I was way to “in it” to be able to sort it out on my own. I have always been a big proponent of the idea that every human should see a therapist, but even more so now.
Online Therapy in Pennsylvania
If you live in Pennsylvania and you are interested in online therapy, feel free to check out my private practice, the Center for Creative Counseling, to learn more about the services I offer.
I offer a free 15 minute consultation to see if I am a good fit for what you are looking for. I specialize in trauma, anxiety, and grief, especially miscarriage grief. Having gone through my own healing journey, I am uniquely equipped to support you with yours.
If you are a Pennsylvania resident and interested in therapy with me, click the button below to schedule your free consultation today.
How To Design Your Own Miscarriage Tattoo
Grief has its own timeline and shape, and you can’t rush it. But there are things you can do to help it along. And for me, in addition to journaling, the process of creating, designing, and getting my tattoo, was one of the most healing experiences of my life.
But it took time.
About a week after our baby died, I started searching for a way to honor his memory. But it wasn’t until four months later that my tattoo was officially complete.
Miscarriage Tattoo Inspiration
The weekend after my d&c procedure, my husband and I were supposed to go away for a sort of babymoon. Despite the miscarriage, we decided to keep our travel plans (after clearing it with the doctor). And we actually managed to have an OK time.
Looking back, I now know that our weekend getaway was a BIG part of my healing journey. We really connected during the trip, commiserating about the miscarriage with honesty, and without the distractions of home.
It was during one of our many conversations that we chose a name for our baby. The name had special meaning for us both for different reasons, and when it came up, we just knew it was right.
We named him Orion. Our sweet, precious baby boy would forever be our angel in the stars. And I knew the exact tattoo I wanted to honor my baby.
Designing Your Own Tattoo
As I mentioned above, I didn’t begin the process of designing my tattoo right away. It took me a couple months to work up to it. After a few weeks of journaling, getting my thoughts and emotions out of my head, I felt clear-headed. Better-able to create.
I grabbed a sketchbook (I like this one from Artisto) and some pencils (like these from MARKART) and started brainstorming.
When I finally set pencil to paper, I immediately started to feel better.
I felt in control, like I was finally doing something about my loss. My baby was taken from me and I wasn’t able to do anything to stop it. After so many weeks of feeling burdened by that sense of powerlessness, it felt amazing to take charge of my pain.
Here is a picture of one of my first rough sketches.
I knew I wanted to depict the Orion constellation, but my first attempts didn’t quite capture what I had in mind. I liked the idea of Celtic knotwork between the stars, but ultimately I decided it looked too busy. My sketches continued to morph and I got closer to nailing down exactly what I wanted.
I wanted it to be small, delicate, and over my heart. But I didn’t know if what I had in mind would even translate in ink at the size I was going for. So, it wasn’t until I started to collaborate with a tattoo artist that my tattoo truly took shape.
Finding the Right Tattoo Artist
When it came time to pick a tattoo artist, I did a fair amount of research. Not only was this my first tattoo ever, but I considered the experience sort of a sacred ritual to honor and memorialize my baby. So I knew whoever I chose to do my tattoo would need to be a good fit.
I found several highly rated tattoo studios in my area and looked up individual artists on Instagram. Then I made a list of artists whose aesthetic and artistic sensibility resonated with my own. I narrowed my list down to 3 potential artists and emailed them my request. In my email, I included my preliminary sketches and shared what the tattoo was intended to symbolize.
They all got back to me right away, but only one artist actually spoke to what I had shared about my miscarriage. She said she thought a tattoo was an amazing way to represent my miscarriage and that she would be honored to be part of my journey. Once I saw her mockup of the tattoo design, I knew she was the right choice.
Getting the Miscarriage Tattoo
My chosen tattoo artist, Erin Hosfield (check her out here on Instagram), was from Kyklops Tattoo, an amazing tattoo joint in the South Side of Pittsburgh. Erin’s warmth and kindness won me over completely.
When the day came, I was actually pretty excited. The whole thing took about an hour, and during that time, I spoke a little about the experience of my miscarriage. It felt ceremonious. I also focused in on the tender pain of the needle going in and out of my skin. It might sound strange, but in a symbolic way, it felt like she was attaching the memory of my baby to my heart.
When she was finished, she let me look in the mirror. My miscarriage tattoo was complete and as I gazed at it, I felt something shift inside me. It was like the whole experience had dislodged something that was stuck. My eyes filled with tears as I thanked her. It was perfect.
Here are a couple pictures of the finished miscarriage tattoo.
Miscarriage Tattoo Ideas
When getting a miscarriage tattoo, your choices are endless. You could draw inspiration from your baby’s name, like I did, or you could choose something else that has special meaning for you.
Miscarriage Tattoos for Lost Baby
When determining whether a miscarriage tattoo is right for you and your baby, it can be helpful to consider whether you plan to share your miscarriage story or not. For example, the location of the tattoo will dictate how private and personal it will be. I placed my tattoo over my heart, above my left breast. It’s easy to cover with clothing, but also easy to reveal if I choose to share.
The tattoo imagery itself can also impact the curiosity of others. If you go with something very specific, people will likely ask questions. How much information do you want to share? When do you think you will be ready to share it? Taking all of this into consideration can help you choose the right symbol.
Miscarriage Tattoo Designs
When it comes to the grieving process, themes, images, and metaphors are extremely helpful. They allow you to take something abstract, confusing, and seemingly unknowable like grief, and form it into something tangible and accessible. Metaphoric symbols can assist you in making meaning and authoring your own narrative about your miscarriage experience.
There are lots of universal images that symbolize grief, and as an art therapist, I believe in the power of visuals symbols and what they do for healing. Throughout history, several themes and images have continuously represented concepts like grief, loss, healing, and rebirth.
Here are a few examples:
- Birds
- Angels
- Cross
- Stars
- Flowers
- Candles
- Celtic Knots
- Shells
- Wings
- Hearts
- Butterflies
- Tree of Life
- Setting Sun
- Lilies
- Rainbows
Healing Hearts Baby Loss Care Aromatherapy Candle from Earth Mama Organics
21 Inspiring Miscarriage Tattoos
This collection of inspiring miscarriage tattoos is divided into sections including moving miscarriage tattoos, miscarriage tattoos for moms, miscarriage tattoos for dads, early miscarriage tattoos, and miscarriage tattoo ideas for couples.
Miscarriage tattoos can help you find meaning in the experience, as well as pay tribute to the little baby you never got to know. I curated this collection of miscarriage tattoos to offer hope, help you cope, and maybe even inspire you to get a healing miscarriage tattoo of your own.
Moving Miscarriage Tattoos
These miscarriage tattoo ideas are truly moving and can inspire your own future miscarriage tattoo.
1. Birds in Flight
2. Heart Rate and Baby Footprints
3. Angel Baby
4. Simple Heart
Miscarriage Tattoos for Moms
Although both parents can be impacted by miscarriage, the pain is often felt in unique ways by the mother who carried the child. This set of miscarriage tattoos for moms were designed with that grief in mind.
5. Celtic Motherhood Knot with Forget-Me-Knot Flowers
6. Angel Wings
7. Bird with Miscarriage Awareness Ribbon
8. The Hardest Goodbye
9. Baby Footprints and Wings
10. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Ribbon with Feather and Birds in Flight
11. Heartfelt Quote
12. Mother and Child
Miscarriage Tattoos for Dads
These miscarriage tattoos would work for all parents, but may hold special meaning for dads.
13. Always in My Heart
14. A Poem of Loss for Dads
15. Tree of Life
Early Miscarriage Tattoo Ideas
No matter when you experience your miscarriage, a miscarriage tattoo can help you heal. These early miscarriage tattoos can provide some ideas and inspiration for those who suffer an early miscarriage.
16. Tiny Wings
17. Baby Angel
18. Awareness Ribbon Butterfly
19. Shooting Star
Miscarriage Tattoo Ideas for Couples
Some couples find that getting matching or connected miscarriage tattoos really help them cope.
20. Celtic Couple Tattoo
21. Matching Footprints
Thank you for reading this article on miscarriage tattoos. I hope you found the collection inspiring and supportive. For more ways to get support for yourself, check out my list of pregnancy loss resources on my author website, hayleywilds.com.
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